A new blog

Welcome to the new Open Fidelity blog. I am writing it as a response to the common assumption that you either have to be completely monogamous, or celibate, or cheat on your partner. Monogamy is difficult, and cheating is dishonest; so is there an alternative that doesn’t involve celibacy?

In mainstream British society nearly 21st century, as in many other countries today, it is expected that it person will fall in love with someone, ‘go out’ with them for a while (and not go out with anyone else during that time), and either split up or go on to marry them or at least stay together long-term.

(It is most common that these relationships are between a man and a woman, and in some circles this is the only accepted option, although in many places now same-sex relationships are also accepted. But whether same-sex or opposite-sex, it is expected that each person has only one relationship at the time.)

However, it is also widely acknowledged that people in relationships or marriages often get tempted to have sex with other people. When this happens, this is meant to be kept a secret. And if someone find out that their partner is having an affair, they are expected to be devastated, to lose faith in the cheating partner and to end the relationship.

This way of having relationships seems to be accepted by the majority of people. But is it the only way? Is everyone happy? How else could we do things?

I suggest a solution called open fidelity: a way for partners to be faithful to each other while leaving open the possibility that each of them could have other lovers or other partners at some point.

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