Philippa, Jennie and Don’s story: part 2

In the last post I told you how Jennie’s admission that she had had several affairs coincided with her husband Philip’s admission that he wanted to live as a woman, to become Philippa. What happened next?

Jennie supported Philippa through the sex change but found it hard. She was continuing to spend time with other men and explore the submissive side of herself, and Philippa accepted this now that Jennie had come clean about it. The transition was obviously the right thing for Philippa to be doing, but as she took hormones and underwent surgery, Jennie became reluctant to share a bed with her.

After a trip away visiting a lover, Jennie decided they would have to get a divorce. But deep down she still loved Philippa and knew she was the same person she had married, and shared her life with all this time. Together they applied for the first stages of a divorce, and Philippa moved out to stay on a friend’s sofa. It was ironic, says Philippa:

Our wedding anniversary consisted of putting in the divorce petition, and then she came over and we actually went for a meal together.

After a few months, during which they had met regularly and found they still enjoyed each other’s company, Philippa found herself with nowhere to live. To Jennie the obvious solution seemed to be for Philippa to move back in with her and the teenage children.

I thought, we have so many life values and interests in common, we’d only end up creating two separate homes with very similar sorts of feels, and why would we want to do that, if at the end of the day we could still be best friends, even if we weren’t going to be sexual partners?

At first, Philippa stayed in the spare room. They talked a lot over the weeks and months, and eventually Jennie invited Philippa back into her bed. Through gentle exploration, they found a new joy in sex now that Philippa’s body was how she had always wanted it to be. They decided not to complete the divorce.

Life transitions, marriage and staying together

Many marriages might have been broken by the wish of one spouse to transition to another gender, the gender they feel is their true one. In fact many marriages might have foundered after the discovery of infidelity. This was a difficult time for Jennie and Philippa, and they did nearly divorce. It is a tribute to the strength of their love that they didn’t take the final step of the divorce but had another go at staying together.

What made it possible for them to get through this time? The fact that Jennie was able to get sexual fulfilment elsewhere probably made it easier for her to contemplate living as ‘best friends’ rather than as sexual partners. And for Philippa, who was only just getting used to having a female body, the trust the two of them had built up over the years probably meant she had a safe space once she was ready to start exploring sex as a woman, without having to go out alone and meet someone new who might not understand the process she had been through.

But overall I think it was the love they had built up over their years together, their respect for each other and their willingness to work things through that saved their marriage.

So, for a while they had a good arrangement, living together as a committed couple, but with Jennie seeing other men now and then. But, as you’ll read in the next post, they then took a step further and sought out a third person for a loving three-way relationship.

Comments are closed.