Philippa, Jennie and Don’s story: part 1

This is the extraordinary story of a marriage that has survived through one partner’s gender reassignment, the other partner not only having several affairs but also discovering that she liked to be dominated, and the addition of a third partner to form a committed three-way partnership. Philippa and Jennie have been together for over 33 […]

Problems caused by cheating

Let’s look at the problems you fact if you start having a secret affair. The edifice of lies First of all, cheating by definition involves lying to your partner. You have to avoid mentioning this new interest in another person, even though you’re probably thinking about them all the time. You have to lie about […]

There is another way!

This week in the Daily Telegraph, Angela Levin has a series of three articles investigating ‘why the UK is in the grip of an infidelity epidemic’. They are headed ‘Desperately seeking someone’, ‘Being unfaithful keeps me happy’ and ‘Adultery isn’t the end – it’s a wake-up call’. She has interviewed over a hundred people who […]

Cheating

If someone is in a monogamous relationship and is attracted to someone who isn’t their partner, conventionally they have the following options: ignore the feeling and stay monogamous; leave their partner in order to get together with a new partner; or cheat on their partner with the other person. I’ve talked a bit about staying […]

An experience of cheating

One of the many people I’ve interviewed about monogamy and nonmonogamy is Nell (not her real name). Nell has given me permission to share her experiences here. Here is Nell describing her experience of being unfaithful: “I was monogamous for seven months with one boyfriend. When an opportunity for sex arose with a close female […]

Terminology: monogamous, partner, infidelity

Monogamous I am using the word ‘monogamous’ in this blog to mean ‘having sex with only one person over a period of time’. A person who is monogamous is someone who, over the course of, say, a year, has sex with only one person. I will usually mean ‘sexually monogamous’, that is, if someone has […]

Monogamy is difficult

To continue with an introduction to the main ideas behind Open Fidelity: Many people try their utmost to be monogamous. They try to avoid getting tempted into having sex with anyone other than their spouse (or their partner, in other words the person they have committed to). But more fail than succeed. Yes, there are […]