Promises

One of the key principles of Open Fidelity is to do with promises, and I want to look at this in more detail here. There are three main aspects: keeping the promises you make avoiding making promises that you don’t think you will be able to keep renegotiating your promises rather than breaking them All […]

Russell’s story: part 3

I’ve told you how Russell cheated on his partner Sylvia and how that in the end this led to their breakup. Now he tells how his relationships became more honest: When I was near the end of the long-term relationship with Sylvia, Sally was one of several sexual relationships I was having – some regular, […]

Philippa, Jennie and Don’s story: part 2

In the last post I told you how Jennie’s admission that she had had several affairs coincided with her husband Philip’s admission that he wanted to live as a woman, to become Philippa. What happened next? Jennie supported Philippa through the sex change but found it hard. She was continuing to spend time with other […]

Philippa, Jennie and Don’s story: part 1

This is the extraordinary story of a marriage that has survived through one partner’s gender reassignment, the other partner not only having several affairs but also discovering that she liked to be dominated, and the addition of a third partner to form a committed three-way partnership. Philippa and Jennie have been together for over 33 […]

Helen’s story: part 2

In the last post I told you about Helen, David, Julie and Miriam and looked into what options Helen had, once she realised she was falling in love with Julie. But enough about the possibilities: on to what actually happened. Helen didn’t feel guilty about spending time with Julie – how could such bliss be […]

Helen’s story: part 1

As promised, here is the first part of a story from one of my research interviews. This is the story of how Helen and David, who had happy, fairly conventional monogamous marriage for 43 years, coped when Helen fell in love with someone else. David and Helen had a strong relationship, a good sex life […]

There is another way!

This week in the Daily Telegraph, Angela Levin has a series of three articles investigating ‘why the UK is in the grip of an infidelity epidemic’. They are headed ‘Desperately seeking someone’, ‘Being unfaithful keeps me happy’ and ‘Adultery isn’t the end – it’s a wake-up call’. She has interviewed over a hundred people who […]

Cheating

If someone is in a monogamous relationship and is attracted to someone who isn’t their partner, conventionally they have the following options: ignore the feeling and stay monogamous; leave their partner in order to get together with a new partner; or cheat on their partner with the other person. I’ve talked a bit about staying […]

Terminology: monogamous, partner, infidelity

Monogamous I am using the word ‘monogamous’ in this blog to mean ‘having sex with only one person over a period of time’. A person who is monogamous is someone who, over the course of, say, a year, has sex with only one person. I will usually mean ‘sexually monogamous’, that is, if someone has […]

Monogamy is difficult

To continue with an introduction to the main ideas behind Open Fidelity: Many people try their utmost to be monogamous. They try to avoid getting tempted into having sex with anyone other than their spouse (or their partner, in other words the person they have committed to). But more fail than succeed. Yes, there are […]