One of the key principles of Open Fidelity is to do with promises, and I want to look at this in more detail here. There are three main aspects: keeping the promises you make avoiding making promises that you don’t think you will be able to keep renegotiating your promises rather than breaking them All […]

A summary of Open Fidelity

OK, I’ve talked about the problems with both monogamy and cheating. Is there another way? Yes – it’s called Open Fidelity. I think it’s time for an overview of what I mean by Open Fidelity. The following statements sum it up. People can love more than one person at a time. There are people in […]


If someone is in a monogamous relationship and is attracted to someone who isn’t their partner, conventionally they have the following options: ignore the feeling and stay monogamous; leave their partner in order to get together with a new partner; or cheat on their partner with the other person. I’ve talked a bit about staying […]

Why I will never promise to be monogamous

Staying monogamous takes a lot of effort. And even when both partners in a couple are keeping to the rules, suspicions can arise and have a corrosive effect on the relationship. But even apart from these issues, I have another, more basic problem with monogamy. If I promised to love only one person until death, […]